Dear heart balloon,
Is it really fucking necessary to hit the damn wall every 3 seconds?! Especially.. when i'm trying to sleep.
Are you fucking haunted or something?
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
I do not need this.
Who are you to tell me who I'm allowed to love? Are you fucking kidding me? How dare you. I hate your guts right now. You unsupportive, vindictive, stupid bitch. You don't have to like it.. in fact, I don't give a fuck if you like it or not. But don't treat me like a piece of shit just because who I love, is not your ideal choice. Ya know.. most moms would say it effects them because they just don't want to see me hurt again.. but no. You being a fucking rude ass bitch, try to keep me away from him just because you "can". Are you fucking serious? Trying to tell me that I can't write him and that I can't be with him. Okay bitch, for one.. I never once said I was with him. Yes, I do eventually want to be.. but who the fuck do you think you are, trying to tell me I can't? And how dare you talk to me the way you did. How dare you talk about him like you fucking know him. Bitch, you don't know shit. You think you're so much better? You think you're some great ass person? Uhm okay.. don't even try to act like you're a fucking saint. You were a stupid piece of shit teenager.. so don't even try to tell me that people can't change. What kind of mom are you? Saying he can rot where he is and trying to tell me that he probably has 5 other girls on the side and that he doesn't care about me. You only said that shit because you knew it would get to me and it would hurt. You are fucked up for that. If you don't like the fact that I love him, then go ahead, hate on it. But news flash bitch.. no matter how hard you try to keep me away, no matter how much you hate it.. I don't fucking care! I may be a teenager, and yeah I may be a dumbass for going back to him after he cheated on me.. but I am mature enough to make my own damn decisions. I know what I get myself into, and if I choose to love him.. deal with it. I will always love him, care about him, and stand by him no matter what. What the fuck are you gunna do? In a little over a year I will be 18 and on my own. What happens if I marry him? If I have a family with him? Are you just not gunna show up at my wedding.. you're just going to hate on my kids? Go right ahead. I don't need you to sit there and make me feel like shit just because of who I love. Let me make my own mistakes and leave me the fuck alone. I don't give you shit for being with a dumbass.. so you have no room to say anything. Just because you're older and you're the parent.. that doesn't mean shit! That doesn't make you smarter and more mature. You're so fucking stupid. Go ahead bitch.. try me. I can guarantee you.. that you will not keep me away from him.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Waiting For You
Waiting for your letter.. has got to be one of the hardest things i've ever had to do. The anticipation is eating at me. We haven't talked in about a month and a half. It scares me thinking about what you will write back. If anything, I just want you to say that you're okay. But there are a million other things I want. I want to see the words "I love you" and "I miss you". Because God knows just how much I do. I keep telling myself that soon.. everything will be alright. Before we know it, things will be the way they should be and we will be together. I don't know how long that will take.. if it even ever happens. I hope it does. Because I love you more than anything and I just want to spend my life with you. To be in your arms, to hear your voice, and look in your eyes.. I want it so bad. I can't get you out of my head.. not that I want you to be. But not knowing what will happen.. it kills me. I guess I should take my own advice though. Never expect anything.. because when you don't, that's when the good will come along ♥
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